Cruel father: “You can have bupkiss, nada, or niente!”

Kind mother: “You can have some of your Halloween candy.”

A few minutes later, Stephanie upstairs: “I’m going to have a Bob Kiss!”

Me: “A what?”

Her: “A Bob Kiss! One of these!” – and rummaging around in her gift bag from the birthday party on Saturday, she pulls out some chocolate treat or another. “This! This is a Bob Kiss! Daddy said I could have one for dessert!”

A Bob Kiss it is, angel.

I said “you mean like a weapon or something?”

“No. I don’t want to do it myself. Something would do it for me. I would have like a metal detector all around the house, because robbers usually have metal. Yes. They have either guns or swords. Mostly swords. I would have a TV in my room and it would show what was in the detectors. And I would know if they were up to no good.”

I agreed that this was a sound concept.

“And then when I saw them, lasers would shoot out and kill them.”

As a geek, and as a heartless Republican, I am so doubly proud of my little robber-killing engineer.

“Sure.” (Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle.) “Are you a superhero?”

“Yes.”

“Really? What’s your super power?”

“I can do karate.” (Demonstration of awesome hand-waving skills.)

“Yeah? What’s your point total and build?”

“150, heavy DEX and skill focus, plus stealth adds.”

OK, the last part of the exchange I made up. But it’s only a matter of time.